How to Treat Your Children According to Islam
Such horrible words from anyone's mouth, "Who do you think you are?" Parents should be very careful what words are said to children in anger.
Words are forceful in the belief in Islam. Muslims believe that words spoken just may come true so all Muslims must be careful what is spoken, especially, "Who do you think you are?" Children must be the light of parent's life and the children must be loved, not tortured and beaten like Fatima was.
Who Do You Think You Are, Fatima?
Fatima was 15 years old and was very frightened of, Abu Alah, Fatima's father. Abu Alah was abusive to the entire family and had a horrible temper. The children were beat often, as was both the wives. One day there was a terrible fight going on and Abu Alah said to Fatima in a very loud voice, "Who do you think you are, Fatima?" Abu Alah started chasing and Fatima ran for safety.
Fatima ran to the balcony and jumped upon a chair. The words came again from the father, "Who do you think you are, Fatima?" With tears in her eyes, Fatima said nothing and jumped. Fatima jumped to the ground from the third floor balcony. Fatima had committed suicide to escape Abu Alah's punishment.
Abu Alah, fell to the ground screaming and screaming and asking Allah for forgiveness. Abu Alah was hysterical and the torture was too much, but too late. Fatima felt like there was nothing left, after those final words were spoken. There was no time to hold Fatima, ask for forgiveness or tell Fatima many loving things. There was only time to bury Fatima in a cold grave the following day.
Never Speak in Anger to Children
There are many hadiths about speaking in anger to children, as it might be the exact time that Allah is granting dua's (supplications). Sometimes an angry word will be granted and will be one that is never forgotten, especially on Fridays when many dua's are granted.
Some children will never forget when a parent speaks to them, "Who do you think you are?" The children grow up mentally impaired and the children grow up feeling useless and unloved. It is the responsibility of all parents to cherish and raise the children as was taught by Prophet Mohammad, peace be upon him. Prophet Mohammad was the example of piety and good manners.
Abdullah ibn Omar said that he asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be unto him), "What protects me from the anger of Allah?" The Prophet (peace and blessings be unto him) said, "Don't get angry."
Both Children and Parents Have Rights
Parents should always raise the children in an Islamic way with love and kindness and children must treat the parents the same way. When the child is small, the parents must raise the children by the ways of the Prophet and by the Quran. The children have a right to food, clothing and shelter. When the parents reach an old age, the parents have rights on the child, especially the mother.
It is not permissible to even say the word "Uff," to the parents, nor to repulse or rebuff them in any way. Make a dua (supplication) for the parents and ask Allah's mercy on both of them, as the Quran states, "My Lord, bestow Thy mercy to them, as they cherished me when I was little...." (Chapter 17: 23-24).
Summary of Speaking, "Who Do You Think You Are?"
As horrible as those words are, regrettably, those words have become a normal speech in most societies including Islam. Parents say those awful words without thinking and without realizing that the children imitate everything the parents do. If the father gets angry quickly, the child will get angry quickly. If the father is kind and gracious, the child will be loving and happy. Remember that whatever is said, will be imitated and remember that on judgment day, every word spoken will have to be accounted for to Allah.
* Muslims invoke Allah's blessings on the Prophet Muhammad whenever this name is mentioned.
Saleh, Mohammad, "Don't Get Angry," Muslim Educators
"The Rights of Parents and Children in Islam," Modern Religion